I wish...

A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the bartender asks for their order.The man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?""I'll have a beer too" says the ostrich.The bartender pours the beer and says "That will be $3.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change for payment.The next day, the man and the ostrich come again, and the man says "I'll have a beer,"The ostrich says "I'll have the same."Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.This became a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the bartender."Well, it's close to last orders, so I'll have a large Scotch" says the man."Same for me" says the ostrich."That will be $7.20" says the bartender.Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the bar.The bartender can't hold back his curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?""Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found this old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever needed to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money will be there.""That's brilliant!" says the bartender. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!""That's right! Whether it's a gallon of milk, or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man."That's fantastic!" says the bartender. "You are a genius! Oh, one other thing sir, what's with the ostrich?"The man replies, "Oh, my second wish was for a chick with long legs."

Would you do this?

These allegedly true story provides an amusing example of lateral thinking and initiative, and staff training (or lack of) at the workplace.While transporting some unfortunate mental patients from one secure place to another, the newly appointed bus driver stopped at a roadside restaurant for natural break. On his return to the bus, all twenty patients were gone. Being a resourceful fellow and fearing the consequences of his negligence, he drove to the next bus stop, where he claimed to be a replacement for the usual service.Allowing twenty people aboard, the driver made straight for his destination, where he warned staff at the gates that the 'patients' were deluded and extremely volatile. The angry 'patients' were duly removed, sedated and incarcerated, and remained in detention for three days, until staff were able to check the records and confirm their true identities. The actual patients were never found.

And the Oscar goes to....

The annual Oscar just finished its ceremony a few hours ago. And here is the lists of winner in their respective catergories...

• Best supporting actress award goes to Penelope Cruz for Best Actress in a Supporting Role for her work in "Vicky Cristina Barcelona."

• Best original screenplay goes to Dustin Lance Black for "Milk."

• Best adapted screenplay goes to Simon Beaudoy, "Slumdog Millionaire."

• Best animated feature goes to "WALL-E"

• Best animated short goes to "La Maison en Petits Cubes."

• Best art direction goes to "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button."

• Best costume design goes to Michael O'Connor for "The Duchess."

• Best makeup goes to Greg Cannom for "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button."

• Best cinematography goes to Anthony Dod Mantle for "Slumdog Milliionaire."

• Best live action short goes to "Spielzeugland (Toyland)."

• Best supporting actor goes to goes to Heath Ledger for "Dark Knight."

• Best documentary goes to "Man on Wire."

• Best documentary short goes to "Smile Pinki."

• Outstanding visual effects goes to "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button."

• Outstanding sound editing goes to "The Dark Knight."

• Outstanding sound mixing goes to "Slumdog Millionaire."

• Outstanding film editing goes to "Slumdog Millionaire."

• Outstanding original score goes to "Slumdog Millionaire."

• Best original song goes to "Slumdog Millionaire" for "O Saya."

• Best foreign language film goes to "Departures" (Japan).

• Best director goes to Danny Boyle for "Slumdog Millionaire."

• Best actress goes to Kate Winslet for "The Reader."