The Best of Late Night...

"The three big domestic automakers are now saying they are working jointly on a new hybrid car. It runs on a combination of state and federal bailout money." --Jay Leno

"The annual People magazine "World's Sexiest Man" issue is on the stands today. Hugh Jackman is the sexiest man alive. But this is odd -- Al Franken is demanding a recount." --David Letterman

"And the longest-serving Republican senator, Ted Stevens of Alaska, was just convicted of seven felonies. He's on his way to jail, lost his Senate race in a squeaker, a squeaker. Which, ironically, is what they call the new guy in prison." --Jay Leno

"Yesterday was a nice day. Barack Obama's daughters Malia and Sasha made their first visit to the White House. The girls were excited to see where they'll be living, and President Bush was excited to finally have somebody to play hide-and-seek with." --Conan O'Brien

"The word is that Hillary Clinton does want the job as secretary of state. And as you know, the secretary of state serves at the pleasure of the president, to which Bill said, 'Yeah, that will be a first.'" --Jay Leno

"How about that Sarah Palin? A lot of people said, what will happen to her when she goes back to being the governor of Alaska? Don't worry: book deal, $7 million. She got it through a guy named Joe the Publisher." --David Letterman

"Barack Obama says one of his top priorities once he becomes president is closing down Guantanamo Bay. To make it closes, he's going to turn it into a bank." --Jay Leno

"President-elect Obama met with former political rival John McCain. Did you see that? They got together. ... And both men said it was a relief to put their differences aside, sit down, and really make fun of Sarah Palin." --Conan O'Brien

"For those that don't follow politics closely, the secretary of state is the person who travels all over the world, meeting with foreign leaders for weeks and sometimes months at a time with long stretches of being away from his or her husband, but that's just a sacrifice Bill isn't willing to make. It's almost as if he told Obama, 'Listen, I'll campaign for you, I'll raise money, just get her the hell out of here, as far away as possible.'" --Jimmy Kimmel

"Political experts say Hillary Clinton may not be given the position of secretary of state because of Bill Clinton's activities. Did you know that? Yeah. Yeah, when he heard this, Bill said, 'It's only fair; she denies me positions all the time.'" --Conan O'Brien

"President-elect Obama is meeting every day with his transition team, or in Beltway lingo, his trannies. They are helping him pick who will be in his new government. Over 7,000 presidential appointments are up for grabs. The Obama administration is making history once again by being the only place in America that is currently hiring." --Stephen Colbert

Qutes that makes you wonder Part 3

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.- Erma Bombeck

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice. - Meister Eckhart

Thanksgiving Day is a jewel, to set in the hearts of honest men; but be careful that you do not take the day, and leave out the gratitude. - E.P. Powell

Who does not thank for little will not thank for much.- Estonian Proverb
Thanksgiving, after all, is a word of action.- W.J. Cameron

If you can't feed a hundred people, then just feed one.- Mother Teresa

There is one day that is ours. Thanksgiving Day is the one day that is purely American.- O. Henry

Gratitude is not a spiritual or moral dessert which we may take or push away according to the whims of the moment, and in either case without material consequences. Gratitude is the very bread and meat of spiritual and moral health, individually and collectively. What was the seed of disintegration that corrupted the heart of the ancient world beyond the point of divine remedy...? What was it but ingratitude?"- Noel Smith

We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.- Frederick Keonig

There is no sincerer love than the love of food.- George Bernard Shaw

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. - John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Thanksgiving Day comes, by statute, once a year; to the honest man it comes as frequently as the heart of gratitude will allow. - Edward Sandford Martin

I love Thanksgiving turkey... it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.- Arnold Schwarzenegger

Thanksgiving, man! Not a good day to be my pants.- Kevin James

Odoriffic...

"The blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell bottom deodorant, and never have.
Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more.
"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."
"But I always get it here," says the blonde.
Do you have the container it comes in?"
Yes!" said the blonde, "I will go and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the chemist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."
The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container, "To apply, push up bottom."

What is Faith

Most people have doubts in life. It is to be human to challenge things and doubt. But above doubt there is faith in the Divine and that there is an ultimate reason you are here. As you read the Save One Person section below, understand that all of our cases of the week are people who have been put in exceptionally challenging and often desperate situations. Yet, regardless of background, ethnicity, religion or nationality, the one unique piece of all of these dear people is that they have faith, sometimes pronounced, sometimes hidden, and other times hidden even to themselves. But faith they have that they are being watched over from above.
Doubt sees the obstacles.
Faith sees the way.
Doubt sees the darkest night.
Faith sees the day.
Doubt dreads to take a step.
Faith soars on high.
Doubt questions "Who believes"?
Faith answers "I".

Frequent Flyers...

On a busy Friday afternoon, while the passengers are patiently waiting for their flight to begin, two men dressed in Pilots' uniforms walk up the aisle. Both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.
Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up.
The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke but none is forthcoming.
The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the end of the runway.
As it begins to look as though the plane will plough into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin.
At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.
In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says, "You know, John, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die."

Why Children are like Kites

You spend years trying to get them off the ground.
You run with them until you are both breathless. They crash ... they hit the roof ... you patch, comfort and assure them that someday they will fly.
Finally, they are airborne.
They need more string, and you keep letting it out.
They tug, and with each twist of the twine, there is sadness that goes with joy.
The kite becomes more distant, and you know it won't be long before that beautiful creature will snap the lifeline that binds you together and will soar as meant to soar...free and alone.
Only then do you know that you have done your job.

Ode To A Turkey...

Tis the night before Thanksgiving and all through our houseNo turkey is baking; I feel like a louse,For I am all nestled, so snug in my bed;I’m not gettin’ up and I’m not bakin’ bread.
No pies in my oven, no cranberry sauceCuz I give the orders, and I am the boss.When out in the kitchen, there arose such a clatterI almost got up to see what was the matter.
As I drew in my head and was tossing aroundTo the bed came my husband, he grimaced, he frowned.And laying his finger aside of his nose,He scared me to death and I thought, “Here he goes!”
He spoke not a word as he threw back my quiltAnd the look that he gave was intended to wilt.So up to the ceiling my pillows he threwI knew I had had it, his face had turned blue.
“You prancer, you dodger, you’re lazy, you vixenOut yonder in kitchen, Thanksgiving you’re fixin.”But he heard me explain, with my face in a pout:"I'm just plain too tired and we're eating out!"

THANKSGIVING WEEK’S "How Will You Start Today"

I woke up early today, excited over all I get to do before the clock strikes midnight. My job is to choose what kind of day I am going to have.

Today I can complain because the weather is rainy or I can be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free.

Today I can feel sad that I don't have more money or I can be glad that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely and guide me away from waste.

Today I can grumble about my health or I can rejoice that I am alive.

Today I can lament over all that my parents didn't give me when I was growing up or I can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born.

Today I can cry because roses have thorns or I can celebrate that thorns have roses.

Today I can mourn my lack of friends or I can excitedly embark upon a quest to discover new job relationships.

Today I can whine because I have to go to work or I can shout for joy because I have a job to go to!

Today I can complain because I have to go to school or eagerly open my mind and fill it with knowledge and adventure.

Today I can dejectedly murmur because I have housework to do or I can feel grateful for shelter for my mind, body and soul.

Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped, and here I am, the sculptor who gets to do the shaping. What today will be like is up to me. And I shall decide what kind of day I shall have!"

It Takes Fifty Years To Learn...

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person who is nice to you but rude to a waiter is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

To be Thankful – You Must First Learn About Your Scars

Some years ago on a hot summer day in South Florida, a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went. He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam toward the middle of the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore.
His mother, in the house, was looking out the window-saw the two as they got closer and closer together. In utter fear, she ran toward the water, yelling to her son as loudly as she could. Hearing her voice, the little boy became alarmed and made a U-turn to swim to his mother. It was too late. Just as he reached her, the alligator reached him.
From the dock, the mother grabbed her little boy by the arms just as the alligator snatched his legs. That began an incredible tug-of-war between the two. The alligator was much stronger than the mother, but the mother was much too passionate to let go.
A farmer happened to drive by, heard her screams, raced from his truck, took aim and shot the alligator. Remarkably, after weeks and weeks in the hospital, the little boy survived.
His legs were extremely scarred by the vicious attack of the animal. And, on his arms, were deep scratches where his mother's fingernails dug into his flesh in her effort to hang on to the son she loved.
The newspaper reporter, who interviewed the boy after the trauma, asked if he would show him his scars. The boy lifted his pant legs. And then, with obvious pride, he said to the reporter, "But look at my arms. I have great scars on my arms, too. I have them because my Mom wouldn't let go."
You and I can identify with that little boy. We have scars, too. No, not from an alligator, or anything quite so dramatic. But, the scars of a painful past. Some of those scars are unsightly and have caused us deep regret. But, some wounds, my friend, are because God has refused to let go. In the midst of your struggle, He's been there holding on to you.

Who's Up There?

A nine year old boy asks his mother, "Is God male or female?"
After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well God is both male and female."
This confuses the boy, so he asks, "Is God black or white?"
"Well," she says, "God is both black and white."
This really confuses the boy, so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?" Feeling a bit out of her depth, but wanting to be consistent, the mother answers, "Honey, God is both gay and straight."
At this the boy's face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks...
"Is Michael Jackson God?"

The Best Day of My Life... According to Rex

Today, when I awoke, I suddenly realized that this is the best day of my life, ever!
There were times when I wondered if I would make it to today; but I did! And because I did I'm going to celebrate! Today, I'm going to celebrate what an unbelievable life I have had so far: the accomplishments, the many blessings, and, yes, even the hardships because they have served to make me stronger.
I will go through this day with my head held high, and a happy heart. I will marvel at God's seemingly simple gifts: the morning dew, the sun, the clouds, the trees, the flowers, the birds.
Today, none of these miraculous creations will escape my notice. Today, I will share my excitement for life with other people. I'll make someone smile. I'll go out of my way to perform an unexpected act of kindness for someone I don't even know. Today, I'll give a sincere compliment to someone who seems down. I'll tell a child how special he is, and I'll tell someone I love just how deeply I care for her and how much she means to me.
Today is the day I quit worrying about what I don't have and start being grateful for all the wonderful things I have already been given. I'll remember that to worry is just a waste of time because my faith in the Divine Plan ensures everything will be just fine. And tonight, before I go to bed, I'll go outside and Praise my eyes to the heavens and stand in awe at the beauty of the stars and the moon.
As the day ends and I lay my head down on my pillow, and be thankful for the best day of my life. And I will sleep the sleep of a contented child, excited with expectation because I know tomorrow is going to be the best day of my life, ever!

The Best of Late Night...

"Barack Obama says he’ll be living in the White House with his family, his two daughters and his wife, and his mother-in-law. Yeah, he may want to rethink closing Guantanamo, you know what I mean?"

-David Letterman

"I guess after the election last week, Barack Obama took his wife on a date to their favorite Italian restaurant in Chicago. Hear about that? Took his wife out on a date. Yeah. And today Bill Clinton, Edwards and Eliot Spitzer called him a new kind of Democrat."

-Jay Leno

"Anybody see Sarah Palin on the 'Today' show a couple of days ago, cooking? And people say, 'Well, can she cook?' Of course she can cook. After all, she cooked McCain’s goose."

-David Letterman

"Now that Barack Obama has been elected president, producers in Hollywood say they think America is now ready for a black James Bond and a black Wonder Woman. Isn't that cool? Yeah, hell, America may even be ready for a black Michael Jackson."

-Conan O'Brien

"President Bush briefed Barack Obama on the state of the nation this week. I don't know that things look bad, but after the briefing, Obama called McCain and said, 'You still want the job?'"

-Jay Leno

"The Secret Service recently gave Barack Obama's wife and daughters code names. These are the code names: Renaissance, Rosebud and Radiance. Apparently, the agent who created the names has a secret dream to get into the perfume business."

-Conan O'Brien

"And Barack Obama is being very deferential to President Bush. Obama said last week, 'The United States can only have one president.' To which Bush said, 'Hey, that's not what Cheney told me."

-Jay Leno

"Some political analysts are saying the 1980s sitcom The Cosby Show helped Obama get elected because it portrayed a black family in a positive light. They also say Obama would have been elected 10 years ago if it weren't for Flavor Flav."

-Conan O'Brien

"Obama said his favorite part of the tour was when the president showed him the secret dial under his desk that he uses to control the price of gasoline."

-Jimmy Kimmel

"President Bush is mad at Barack Obama, because Obama leaked details of the private meeting they had yesterday in the Oval Office. Yeah, Bush says, 'What happens in the couch fort stays in the couch fort.'"

-Conan O'Brien

"There was a little confusion at the meeting there at the White House when President Bush was told that Obama was coming. He said oh, you mean we caught him?"

-David Letterman

"Well, according to a new post-election survey, people want Sarah Palin to run for president in 2012. That's what it says. It says she's been getting thousands of calls from people pleading with her to run, all Democrats."

-Jay Leno

"Of course, lots of sour news about the economy. The federal government has announced that due to the bad economy, it is going to have to lay off 40,000 postal workers. Yeah, 40,000 disgruntled postal workers. What could possibly go wrong?"

-Conan O'Brien

Quotes that will make you think Part II

Jogging is very beneficial. It's good for your legs and your feet. It's also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed.
- Charles Schulz

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
- Erma Bombeck

I always loved running... it was something you could do by yourself, and under your own power. You could go in any direction, fast or slow as you wanted, fighting the wind if you felt like it, seeking out new sights just on the strength of your feet and the courage of your lungs.
- Jesse Owens

You don't run against a bloody stop watch, do you hear? A runner runs against himself, against the best that's in him. Not against a dead thing of wheels and pulleys. That's the way to be great, running against yourself. Against all the rotten mess in the world

At the two-thirds mark [of a marathon], I think of those who are still with me. Who might make a break? Should I? Then I give it all I've got.
- Ibrahim Hussein

Running is like mouthwash; if you can feel the burn, it's working.
- Brian Tackett

When people ask me why I run, I tell them, there's not really a reason, it's just the adrenalin when you start, and the feeling when you cross that finish line, and know that you are a winner no matter what place you got.
- Courtney Parsons

Most people run a race to see who is fastest. I run a race to see who has the most guts.
- Steve Prefontaine

You have to forget your last marathon before you try another. Your mind can't know what's coming.
- Frank Shorter

Learn to run when feeling the pain: then push harder.
- William Sigei

I believe that the Good Lord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I'm damned if I'm going to use up mine running up and down a street.
- Neil Armstrong

I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
- Rita Rudner

To a runner, a side stich is like a car alarm. It signifies something is wrong, but you ignore it until it goes away.
- Anonymous

It's unnatural for people to run around the city streets unless they are thieves or victims. It makes people nervous to see someone running. I know that when I see someone running on my street, my instincts tell me to let the dog go after him.
- Mike Royko

Three Pints of Guinness ...

An Irish man walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, "what'll you have?" The man says, "Give me three pints of Guinness please." So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone. He then orders three more.
The bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold. You don't have to order three at a time. I can keep an eye on it and when you get low I'll bring you a fresh cold one."
The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we're drinking together.
The bartender thought that was a wonderful tradition. Every week the man came in and ordered three beers. Then one week he came in and ordered only two. He drank them and then ordered two more.
The bartender said to him, "I know what your tradition is, and I'd just like to say that I'm sorry that one of your brothers died."
The man said, "Oh, me brothers are fine. It's me! I've quit drinking!"

Enjoy the Ride

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then, we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are. After that we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire. The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?
Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. One of my favorite quotes comes from Alfred D Souza. He said, "For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - REAL LIFE. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then, life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."
This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.
So, treasure every moment that you have. And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with... and remember that time waits for no one.
Stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you've had a drink, until you've sobered up, until you die -- to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy.
Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

Legal Semantics...

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is sure that he has a better education.
He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputy's expense...deputy says, "License and registration, please."
Lawyer says, "What for?"
Deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign ..."
Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."
Deputy says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration, please."
Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"
Deputy says, "The difference is, you have to come to a complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!"
Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket, if not you let me go and no ticket."
Deputy says, "Exit your vehicle, sir." At this point, the deputy takes off his gloves and starts slapping the lawyer and says, "Do you want me to stop or just slow down?"

Everything I Need To Know I Learned From Noah’s Ark

1. Don't miss the boat.

2. Remember that we are all in the same boat.

3. Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.

4. Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.

5. Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.

6. Build your future on high ground.

7. For safety's sake, travel in pairs.

8. Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.

9. When you're stressed, float a while.

10. Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.

11. No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting.

Quotes that would make you think?!

We are not retreating — we are advancing in another direction.— General Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964)
As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.- John Fitzgerald Kennedy
Valor is stability, not of legs and arms, but of courage and the soul.- Michel de Montaigne
In war, there are no unwounded soldiers. - José Narosky
This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave. - Elmer Davis
Freedom is never free. - Anonymous
I think there is one higher office than president and I would call that patriot. - Gary Hart
I dream of giving birth to a child who will ask, "Mother, what was war?" - Eve Merriam
Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few.- Winston Churchill
Courage is fear holding on a minute longer.- General George S. Patton, U.S. Army
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.- Albert Einstein
We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.- Will Rogers
We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.- Cynthia Ozick Quotes
But the freedom that they fought for, and the country grand they wrought for, Is their monument to-day, and for aye.- Thomas Dunn English
How important it is for us to recognize and celebrate our heroes and she-roes!- Maya Angelou

Heckuva Engineer...

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."
Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer.
I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

The Things that They Carried

In honor of Veteran’s Day...an excerpt from book of the same title:
By Tim O'Brien

They carried P-38 can openers and heat tabs, watches and dog tags, insect repellent, gum, cigarettes, Zippo lighters, salt tablets, compress bandages, ponchos, Kool-Aid, two or three canteens of water, iodine tablets, sterno, LRRP- rations, and C-rations stuffed in socks.

They carried standard fatigues, jungle boots, bush hats, flak jackets and steel pots.

They carried the M-16 assault rifle.

They carried trip flares and Claymore mines, M-60 machine-guns, the M-70 grenade launcher, M-14's, CAR-15's, Stoners, Swedish K's, 66mmLaws, shotguns, .45 caliber pistols, silencers, the sound of bullets, rockets, and choppers, and sometimes the sound of silence.

They carried C-4plastic explosives, an assortment of hand grenades, PRC-25 radios, knives and machetes. Some carried napalm, CBU's and large bombs; some risked their lives to rescue others. Some escaped the fear, but dealt with the death and damage. Some made very hard decisions, and some just tried to survive.

They carried malaria, dysentery, ringworm's and leaches. They carried the land itself as it hardened on their boots. They carried stationery, pencils, and pictures of their loved ones - real and imagined. They carried love for people in the real world and love for one another. And sometimes they disguised that love:"Don't mean nothin'!" They carried memories for the most part, they carried themselves with poise and a kind of dignity.

Now and then, there were times when panic set in, and people squealed or wanted to, but couldn't; when they twitched and made moaning sounds and covered their heads and said "Dear God" and hugged the earth and fired their weapons blindly and cringed and begged for the noise to stop and went wild and made stupid promises to themselves and God and their parents, hoping not to die. They carried the traditions of the United States military, and memories and images of those who served before them.

They carried grief, terror, longing and their reputations. They carried the soldier's greatest fear: the embarrassment of dishonor. They crawled into tunnels, walked point, and advanced under fire, so as not to die of embarrassment. They were afraid of dying, but too afraid to show it. They carried the emotional baggage of men and women who might die at any moment. They carried the weight of the world.

THEY CARRIED EACH OTHER

I act 25 years old, how old do you act?

Put an X in all that apply and then add up to see how old you act!
[x] You know how to make a pot of coffee
[X] You keep track of dates using a calendar
[x ] You own a credit card
[ ] You know how to change the oil in a car
[x] You've done your own laundry
[x ] You can vote in an election
[x] You can cook for yourself
[ ] You think politics are exciting
TOTAL SO FAR: 6
[x] You show up for school late a lot
[] You always carry a pen in your bag/purse/pocket
[x] You've never gotten a detention
[ ] You have forgotten your own birthday at least once
[x] You like to take walks by yourself
[x] You drink caffeine at least once a week
TOTAL SO FAR:10
[x] You know how to do the dishes
[x] You can count to 10 in another language
[x] When you say you're going to do something you do it
[x ] You can mow the lawn
[x] You study when you have to
[x] You have hand washed a car before
TOTAL SO FAR: 16
[x] You can spell experience, without looking it up
[ ] The people at Starbucks know you by name
[ ] Your favorite kind of food is shawarma
[] The first thing you do when you wake up is get caffeine
[x ] You can go to the store without getting something you don't need
[ ] You understand political jokes the first time they are said
[x] You can type pretty quick
TOTAL SO FAR: 19
[x ] Your only friends are from your place of employment
[ ] You have been to a Tupperware party
[ x] You have realized that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job
[x ] You have more bills than you can pay
[x] You use the internet every day
[ x] You have been outside of the country 2 or more times
[x] You make your own bed
TOTAL: 25
NOW REPOST AS: I act __ years old, how old do you act?

Great Election Quotes

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election.
- Bill Vaughan

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
- George Jean Nathan

I will feel equality has arrived when we can elect to office women who are as incompetent as some of the men who are already there.
- Maureen Reagan

Democracy is the only system that persists in asking the powers that be whether they are the powers that ought to be.
- Sydney J. Harris

There are always too many Democratic congressmen, too many Republican congressmen, and never enough U.S. congressmen.
- Anonymous

We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.
- Will Rogers

The next time they give you all that civic bull about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election.
- George Carlin

Always vote for the principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost.
- John Quincy Adams

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.
- W.C. Fields

Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.
- Jerry Garcia

In order to become the master, the politician poses as the servant.
- Charles de Gaulle

A politician thinks of the next election. A statesman, of the next generation.
- James Freeman Clarke

An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger.
- Confucius

Vote for the man who promises least. He'll be the least disappointing.
- Bernard Baruch