The Best of Late Night...

"The three big domestic automakers are now saying they are working jointly on a new hybrid car. It runs on a combination of state and federal bailout money." --Jay Leno

"The annual People magazine "World's Sexiest Man" issue is on the stands today. Hugh Jackman is the sexiest man alive. But this is odd -- Al Franken is demanding a recount." --David Letterman

"And the longest-serving Republican senator, Ted Stevens of Alaska, was just convicted of seven felonies. He's on his way to jail, lost his Senate race in a squeaker, a squeaker. Which, ironically, is what they call the new guy in prison." --Jay Leno

"Yesterday was a nice day. Barack Obama's daughters Malia and Sasha made their first visit to the White House. The girls were excited to see where they'll be living, and President Bush was excited to finally have somebody to play hide-and-seek with." --Conan O'Brien

"The word is that Hillary Clinton does want the job as secretary of state. And as you know, the secretary of state serves at the pleasure of the president, to which Bill said, 'Yeah, that will be a first.'" --Jay Leno

"How about that Sarah Palin? A lot of people said, what will happen to her when she goes back to being the governor of Alaska? Don't worry: book deal, $7 million. She got it through a guy named Joe the Publisher." --David Letterman

"Barack Obama says one of his top priorities once he becomes president is closing down Guantanamo Bay. To make it closes, he's going to turn it into a bank." --Jay Leno

"President-elect Obama met with former political rival John McCain. Did you see that? They got together. ... And both men said it was a relief to put their differences aside, sit down, and really make fun of Sarah Palin." --Conan O'Brien

"For those that don't follow politics closely, the secretary of state is the person who travels all over the world, meeting with foreign leaders for weeks and sometimes months at a time with long stretches of being away from his or her husband, but that's just a sacrifice Bill isn't willing to make. It's almost as if he told Obama, 'Listen, I'll campaign for you, I'll raise money, just get her the hell out of here, as far away as possible.'" --Jimmy Kimmel

"Political experts say Hillary Clinton may not be given the position of secretary of state because of Bill Clinton's activities. Did you know that? Yeah. Yeah, when he heard this, Bill said, 'It's only fair; she denies me positions all the time.'" --Conan O'Brien

"President-elect Obama is meeting every day with his transition team, or in Beltway lingo, his trannies. They are helping him pick who will be in his new government. Over 7,000 presidential appointments are up for grabs. The Obama administration is making history once again by being the only place in America that is currently hiring." --Stephen Colbert